Fr Innocent: “Oh sorry, I did not see it” – after driving the car into a large hole in the floor and nearly killing Gaz.
Fr Innocent: “Do not worry, it is Africa!”
Gaz: “No mate, yer in a grave!”
Fr Innocent: “Do not worry, it is Africa!”
Gaz: “No mate, yer in a grave!”
Brother Kevin: “Planking’s old news. You wanna go owling.”
“erm...?”
“Aye, it’s when you go behind something and you do this” – (does an owl impression)
“erm...?”
“Aye, it’s when you go behind something and you do this” – (does an owl impression)
Children in primary school on seeing Dan: “Harry Potter! Potter! Potter! Potter!”
Child in primary school while talking about music that’s popular in Tanzania “do you know Rihanna? Can you get me her number?”
Nurse to Sara: “do you know what a cervix is?”
Dave: “you should juggle in class, Dan.”
Dan: “I would but I don’t have the balls”
Dan: “I would but I don’t have the balls”
Children in primary school, waiting for Dan – “when is Harry Potter coming?”
Joe, while Dave is stuck, naked, behind two locked doors:
“Dave, you there?”
“Yeah, Joe?!”
“Yeah, Dave can you get my belt”
“I’m stuck in my room, can you help me out?”
“What? I can’t tell what you’re sayin’, Dave”
“Joe, I’m stuck in my room!”
“Right Dave, don’t worry about it, I’m just gonna go cause I can’t tell what you’re on about. Laters” – and Dave was stuck in his room for another ten minutes. And it wasn’t the only time it happened.
“Dave, you there?”
“Yeah, Joe?!”
“Yeah, Dave can you get my belt”
“I’m stuck in my room, can you help me out?”
“What? I can’t tell what you’re sayin’, Dave”
“Joe, I’m stuck in my room!”
“Right Dave, don’t worry about it, I’m just gonna go cause I can’t tell what you’re on about. Laters” – and Dave was stuck in his room for another ten minutes. And it wasn’t the only time it happened.
Lou: “Do you have any pets?”
Kids:“Yeah, course, I’ve got an elephant, some lions and a tiger!”
Kids:“Yeah, course, I’ve got an elephant, some lions and a tiger!”
Deputy head of primary school to Rob: “English people fat, Tanzanian people slim. Me, thin. You, fat.”
Kevin: “In England, we have metaphors like ‘raining cats and dogs’- do you have any of these in Tanzania?”
Secondary school child, after a lot of thinking by the class: “Yes, we have ‘mama na jiko’”
Kevin: “What does that mean literally?”
Child: “Wife”
Kevin: “And what do you take that to mean?”
Child: “Kitchen”
Secondary school child, after a lot of thinking by the class: “Yes, we have ‘mama na jiko’”
Kevin: “What does that mean literally?”
Child: “Wife”
Kevin: “And what do you take that to mean?”
Child: “Kitchen”
- classic sexist quote.
Passing grinning woman, swinging a live chicken in one hand and waving her phone in the other to Jonny: “Eh, number?”
Dave (while taking questions on preventing the spread of diseases ): “No, class, excessive masturbation does NOT cause AIDS.”
-- - Joe
No comments:
Post a Comment